I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
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I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
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dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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