i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
