how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
