It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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