My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
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