I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
