Already got asked if we're dating
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
