My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
