im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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