I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
