He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
