ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
