OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
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