just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
