Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
