He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
So squirting runs in the family.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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