oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
splinters make it hard to masturbate
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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