I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.