you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
