Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
