are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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