She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize