your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
