He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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