Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
