i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
there is glitter all over my balls
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