I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
