What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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