Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
