Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
