Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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