So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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