Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
