I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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