Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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