He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
