i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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