I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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