I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
