I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
