Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
