need another drink. this is the easiest way
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Randomize
