You don't have asthma, your pregnant
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
