Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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