To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
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he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
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i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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