this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
