That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
