Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
