wat bout pragnant strippers??
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
