im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
