you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
zippers are such a cool invention
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
