respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
