The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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