Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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