I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
