You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
tell me about the eggs
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
