Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
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