I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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