Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
