Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
