it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
He felt like a one man threesome
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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