How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
