My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Randomize
