How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
