in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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