Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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