HIV tests are more positive than that guy
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
