Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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